Celeb Jihad

John Mayer Desperate To Win Aniston Back

john mayer jennifer aniston

Rocker John Mayer is trying to win back ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston. He has been sending her sappy texts, as well as picture messages of his balls and taint.

Mayer, who had broken up with Aniston almost two months back, is now determined to get her back. He has cut back on his smoking and drinking and has even promised to stop making shitty music.

Mayer and Aniston had a pretty acrimonious break-up. But over the past few weeks, they’ve both realized what miserable people they are, and figure a co-dependent relationship based on them both being intolerable cunts is the best either can hope for.

“John initially called things off when Jen broke her strap-on off in his anal cavity. But after considerable time apart, his priorities have changed and he realized that he enjoyed the sensation”. said a source close to Mayer.

Mayer also invited Aniston to be his guest of honor at his 31st birthday recently. She attended and gave Mayer a good birthday dick sucking later that evening.

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